Lexi Letter Volume 1 issue 5

Lexi Letter Volume 1 issue 5

M is for May, Music and Mother’s Day!

Lexi is 3 months old today, May 20th!
Lexi’s stats for the moment
Length: 52 cm or 20.47 inches
Weight: 11 lbs 14 oz

May brings joy and laughter to our world thanks to Lexi. She is cheekily smiling a big gummy grin more often and her loud raucous squeak of a laugh is infectious. Just one loud gladsome squeak at a time but it is enough to make a room full of serious adults giggle.

On the first of May, Lexi had officially slept through the night of her own volition – it was not induced by exhaustion through screaming fits of gas nor interrupted by a wet diaper. She actually slept a full eight hours in a row! This means that I also got to sleep an eight hour stretch though I didn’t wake up as refreshed as I imagined. The first few daze of this new era and I wandered around bumping into corners of walls and banging my knee like a drunken sailor back on land. It takes some getting used to this new drug called ‘Sleep’! I have my ‘land legs’ now and can drop into a deep REM sleep in less than a minute when required. The world seems to have full colour again!

One morning during the beginning of this new ‘big girl’ era, I woke to a funny sight. Lexi started her sleep fully swathed in a swaddling blanket, a fleece sleep sack and a nightshirt underneath. Her little feet were enclosed in tiny newborn socks and placed strategically at the end of the crib as always. I looked down into the crib to see Lexi asleep six inches from top of the crib, bare from the diaper up.  Her arms were pinned to her sides from the neck of her nightshirt, the sleep sack and swaddling bunched down by the end of the bed. Her diaper was dangerously partway down her tushy. She had gone through the neck of her nightshirt to escape her wet diaper, all while still asleep! I wish I had caught that on time lapse camera – to see her inch her way up and out! As adorable and head scratching as that was, the poor girl was freezing cold her little hands a purplish blue PLUS she had a wet diaper. Not good. I vowed that the next night would be different.

The next morning found the top half of Lexi still completely snapped into her sleeper but her legs had somehow wriggled in between two of the snaps. Again, the sleep sack and swaddling were bunched at the base of the crib and the bare skin of her legs was ice cold to the touch. I scratched my head again at this predicament. Ok, no more nightshirts and now no more sleepers with snaps! I looked through Lexi’s extensive 3-6 month collection to see what she had left. One sleeper was just long enough with a zipper but this was not going to last much longer and it wasn’t very warm if she kicked everything off. I started putting her sweater on over top just in case as well as bundling her in the ‘kicker’ swaddling blanket that we use in her Snugli carrier. It is made of the softest rosette gorp aka fun fur -many an adult has envied Lexi in her blanket. Softer than any new kitten… This solution appears to work. She can’t kick her feet out of the kicker’s legs so at least her lower half stays warm. With the zipper on the sleeper and buttons on the sweater, mornings find Lexi fully dressed and only her hands are cold. I have tried putting her mitts on her but she manages to wiggle those off too! Own worst enemy!

Speaking of mitts, she has finally graduated to NO mitts during the day! We still have to occasionally pull her hands away from her face during feeding but otherwise she has encountered a whole new part of her body! She loves to suck on the top of her fist which makes a very loud and rather hilarious lip-smacking sound. Ah to be a baby and be oblivious of anything but your own simple pleasures!

Between her length, weight and her enormous cloth diaper Lexi has been wearing 6 month old clothing. I have been putting aside all the clothes that no longer fit and dividing them into 3 categories.
* Neutral (for a possible future sibling one day)
* Sentimental
* Hip-o (a fantastic used consignment store for children’s clothing).

The first item to go into Neutral was the tiny ‘mushroom hoodie’. I can still put her slim arms
through the sleeves but they are too short now and the body is too tight. She can’t put her arms down which can’t be comfortable as funny as it looks! The first item to go into Sentimental was a pink velour 2 piece set with a cartoon squirrel on the back of the hoodie that Grandma Wilson gave her. Way too cute to go to Hip-o! Of course the handmade Norwegian sweater that was my brother Brian’s goes into that category as well. A very special hand knitted hooded cardigan arrived in the mail from my Mum’s best friend Susan. Beautiful details such as ribbon bedecked snap closures and a ribbon tie for the hood. That is definitely a keeper! There will be so many in this category I will have to be ruthless I am afraid…  only the handmade items and a sleeper from Norway will probably be keepers along with one special onesie.

I took a photo of Lexi in the Michael Franti & Spearhead Onesie that Great Auntie Shelley and Great Uncle Daz in England gave her. I was so pleased with it that on Twitter, I privately messaged Michael Franti with a link to my blog to see the photo of my daughter. I held my breath. I checked the stats on my blog a day later with no expectations. Lo and behold was a stat that made my breath whistle through my teeth. Someone had clicked on the link from Twitter! At first my mind naysayed but then I realized that only Michael Franti could see that link on Twitter and therefore it had to have been him! I wonder if he read any of the letter or if he just looked quickly at the picture? Just in case, if you are reading this, Lexi and I are waving at you and we love your music! Lexi’s favourite albums are ‘Stay Human’,
more recently ‘Rebel Rockers’ and directly following that is Rage Against The Machine’s self titled album. These albums put her in a happy place. Actually the Rebel Rocker album also makes my 6 year old nephew Shaun bust out into wild displays of breakdancing on our wood floor. Fantastic album! It’s too bad there will be no concert this year in Toronto. *sniff* Maybe next year?!  We’ll bring the egg shakers!
*hopeful grin*

Mother’s Day arrived and it was beautiful outside and in. We sent flowers to both Grandmothers, managing to get flowers out to the campground in Niagara without giving away the surprise. Lexi and Daddy surprised me with her first piece of art. You could have knocked me over with a look I was so surprised! Apparently while I was away on the Thursday prior for a puppet improv meeting, Daddy took Lexi to the store to pick up colourful markers and a doodle pad. They spent a good hour together creating an amazing card for me. Daddy would take off the cap and put the marker into Lexi’s hand. She would grip it with intensity and wave her arm. Daddy would try to keep the doodle pad underneath. Then they would switch colours. Purple was the final colour and Lexi went to town. (Grandma Wilson would be so proud as that is her favourite colour!) By that point she had figured out how markers worked and got some really fantastic decisive lines on the page. The card is in a place of honour up on the fun fur canvas in the living room for all to see. It will go in its own place eventually into her baby book for Lexi to see in future.

Grandma Ann and Jack were just here for a quick visit to drop off a leather rocking chair and some lamps that had been my Mum’s. Presents also came along. Lexi has a lovely 12 month outfit from Great Great Auntie Ella Davies (my cousin Pam’s grandma). The coat is absolutely precious! Grandma Ann also brought some Robeez shoes to grow into. Lexi’s feet are the same size as when she was born so she is still wearing newborn socks (or stockings when those don’t stay on.) She hasn’t even been able to wear her newborn booties yet as they are too big. I stamped her feet for her baby album at 2 weeks and again at 2 months and they haven’t changed a bit. Tiny! There was also a spinning toy, a 320 photo album and a new sleep sack! Yay!

Last night was the first night in the new kimono style sleep sack. She fills out the length but not the sleeves yet so there is room to grow still. It folds over her chest with inside snaps and then outside ties secure it safely. It has a hoodie with cute little teddy bear ears sewn into it. The best part? It stayed on! Lexi was cozy warm this morning! Way to go Grandma! I am making a sleep sack myself but hadn’t finished it as I couldn’t figure out how to keep her contained inside. Overall style wasn’t working so I had to find another way to finish the top. Now I know! Kimono style that snaps on to the lower half of the sleep sack. That way when she grows I can snap on a new top part. Or maybe velcro. She can get out of snaps… hmm. Zipper? Back to the drawing board!

Let’s hope May gives you found time to surprise someone you love! I leave you with some new pics: Lexi talking & smiling in her new pink hand knit hooded cardigan.

With big hugs, milk bubbles and gummy smiles,

Kristi and Lexi

Lexi Letter Volume 1 issue 4

Lexi Letter Volume 1 Issue 4

May 2/2009
Pins and Needles

Lexi is in bloom and so are the daffodils! Do daffodils take naps during the day? Lexi has become so excited about Spring and the world that the poor little tyke has a difficult time taking naps. How could she possibly miss one moment? She has so many things that she wants to look at and discover! SO… Mummy and Baby battle each other every few hours trying to get her
to close her eyes for a few zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….*snore* *snort* Oh! *Ahem* Uh, yes…

Lexi’s stats at 10 weeks:
Head Circumference: 38 cm
Length: 52 cm
Weight: 11 lbs 3.5 oz
Eye colour: bright silvery blue (lighter than Mummy’s and Daddy’s)
Hair colour: medium brown with auburn highlights (like Mummy’s)

I deduce from this that she’s the same length as birth but has gotten a nice roundness to her limbs. Still has long ballerina legs that are not too chubby. She has long delicate fingers that unfortunately are hidden by little scratch mitts to prevent her from digging at her eyes. She has a penchant for falling into a paroxysm of ecstasy from milk and she grabs at her face – her eyes being the target of this intensity. Those tiny nails can inflict a lot of damage and I worry about her vision. Therefore, mitts. I do trim her nails but the little gaffer is squirmy and I hate inflicting more undue pain on her by missing a nail and getting a tiny finger! As Daddy Matt has volunteered that job, I will gratefully turn that over to him with his steady hands. We team up when the
savage baby is the most placid – as she is in a ‘milk’ coma on the breastfeeding pillow.

Health:

Lexi was still suffering a bit from tummy aches due to gas but the rampant raging of Diarrhea has subsided down back to a reasonable level/consistency for Babies. As long as Mummy and Daddy are vigilant with burping during and after feeding, there appears to be less problems with the tummy. Dr. Davis believes that she was suffering before with a bug then a mild form of Colic. We adjusted the feeding schedule to an hour earlier than before and every 3 hours. This seems to work. It’s just mainly a fussy period between 7 and 8 nightly where she is seemingly inconsolable – Matt has dubbed this ‘Princess Time’. If we could get her to nap during the day to get her 15 hours worth
of sleep, she’d probably be able to get through ‘Princess Time’ with no hassles. Matt has logically come up with a solution that Lexi has presented herself. Smarty! Since Lexi almost always falls asleep when she’s eaten to capacity, we put her down for a nap directly after feeding. This is the only way that we can get her to get enough sleep throughout the day and ward off any ‘Princess’
behaviour.

I am keeping tabs of all her goings on with a chart that tracks Sleep, Food & Awake times along with Wet or Dirty nappies. Might be super nerdy but when there are so many diapers in one day a chart helps keep it all sorted! I can see distinct patterns now in the haze of sleepnessless…

Lexi had a rollercoaster ride of an April.

First she had  a lovely shower in London hosted by my sister-in-law Veronica and my Aunt Moira. We played games and ate fancy cake while Lexi received lots of pretty clothes and presents. I got to visit with my cousin and her 2 girls for the first time in years. Fantastic day! Mid April, Lexi was treated to a second shower by my lovely lady friends. Again we spent the afternoon chatting and nibbling treats. Lexi is one squeaky clean little girl with all the affection showered upon her! Thanks so much for everything, Girls!

That was the fun part of the ride. WheeeeEEEEEEEeeeeEEEEEE! Parties, presents and cake!! Yay Lexi!

The NOT so fun part is this: Mind-numbing guilt. That’s right. GUILT with a capital OMG!!! I didn’t know what guilt felt like until this April. And no, it wasn’t from all that cake I ate…

Guilt #1.

I attached Lexi to her diaper.

Now consider that we are old school and are using CLOTH. {the crowd gasps in horror, someone poises to call Child Services}

Imagine my guilt and anguish that I had pierced my baby’s delicate skin with a big honking diaper pin! At first she didn’t make any sound, shock I suppose. When she did squawk, I belatedly realized what I had done.  Only in my head it was a thousand million trillion times worse than reality. I thought the pin had gone straight in and pierced her organs. I imagined fluid gushing out of her organs, blood everywhere, rushing to the Emergency, doctors wheeling her away on a tiny gurney, major surgery… and yes, my panicked mind envisioned a slow DEATH by TETANUS! She hasn’t had any shots yet! Oh my g@#$@$%#$!

I yelled for Grandma Wilson to come as I removed the pin from Lexi’s little hip/lower abdomen area. A small well of blood appeared. By this time, Matt and both his parents were in the room consoling Lexi and sussing out the situation. In reality, she was only crying a bit by this point. My hands were shaking so bad that I had to let the others finish cleaning her up. We found the emergency kit, put antiseptic on the cut, some antibiotic, a plaster and lots of kisses. Never has a child had a such a small wound so carefully attended to. I couldn’t stop myself from pacing and beating myself up. I’m not sure but I think I was crying as my mind raced.

The burning question was… were there 2 holes or one? If there were two that meant the pin went in and came out. Surface wound. If there was only one…. well. Refer to the previous vision with tiny gurney.

We put Lexi down to sleep (she was quite exhausted from the ordeal, perhaps more so from all the adults fluttering about her.) Matt had me lie down on the bed with him in the dark for a cuddle while we listened to her sleep. He let me cry some of my guilt out of my heart and recount what happened.

We were in her bedroom, Lexi on the change-pad. She was kicking away happily. I had my fingers behind the cloth of the diaper, guiding the pin through. Her leg kicked my hand holding the pin and the pin slid past
my finger, through her side into the waiting pin head. It closed. Silence. A heart beat passed. Squawk. Horror ensued. Matt murmured condolences, love and encouragement. Assured me that I wasn’t a failure of
a mother. Miraculously, I fell asleep though the guilt was still weighing heavily on my heart.

The next few days, the image of that pin was emblazoned on the backs of my eyelids. Every time I changed her diaper I sweat what the Germans call the “fear sweats” profusely. My hands were never so careful. I recounted the tale of horror to others. And they in turn, told me their own personal tales of parental horror. Matt’s brother Ben fell out of his highchair and broke his arm. My Mum apparently dropped my brother twice on his head. The imp in me chants “now things make sense” while the guilt ridden side is
still cramped up in agony. The barb of guilt’s sharp point dulled to an ache. The plaster came off in the tub. Two small faint scabs and no tiny gurney. I still change her diapers with a healthy dose of respect.

Guilt #2.

April 28th was Lexi’s first immunization shots. Pins AND needles, poor lass! Grandma Wilson was in town and came along with us. Diphtheria, Tetanus (lucky since she needed it!), Pertussis, Polio, Hib, and Pneumo conjugate. Whatever they are but she don’t want’m! Grandma Wilson stayed out in the waiting room on ironically on pins and needles while I tentatively brought a placid Lexi into the exam room. Dr. Davis went over Lexi with a fine toothed comb, marking down all her stats and listening to all her inner workings. Then she told me to brace myself first then hold down Lexi’s leg for the first needle. Again that leg jerked upward and I forced it back down so Dr. Davis could pull the needle out. Dr. Davis gave me a stern warning to be sure to hold her down for the next one as it was a real doozy. In went the needle, the leg was kept still successfully but Lexi shrieked. My guilt was back with a vengeance, squeezing all the blood out of my face. Dr. Davis patted me on the shoulder and reassured me she was fine. I gathered up Lexi in my arms and we headed to a back office for some quiet time. I consoled her with a feeding and some
cuddles. All was right again in Lexi’s world though mine was shaken up. I know immunizations are for the best but it still is hard to watch your child cry in pain even if it’s just a pin prick.

Well being:

1. Full out conversations of “Baby” on the change-table occur almost every diaper change. I can speak a few of her words and it almost always makes Lexi laugh and smile. I wonder what I am saying in “Baby” and if I am pronouncing it correctly? She talks away in my nephew Shaun’s old tiny rocking chair. She
loves kicking her legs and making the chair move. The chair has an added bonus of vibration in the lower back. Lucky girl!

2. She is lasting longer and longer on her play mat. It has a cool spinner that she lies on and eventually will spin herself. She’s able to last a full 5 minutes now before her neck gets tired from holding up her heavy and very brainy head! So proud of her progress!

3. I got the ‘Hot Sling’ that my friend Leslie gave us sized and we go everywhere with it. It’s certain to put Lexi to sleep everytime. She loves being that close to her Mummy and people love to peer in to see her sleepy little face nestled in there. On sunny days I put her lacy bonnet on her head to
protect her little noodle from the rays. Strangely men find this the most adorable thing ever. A group of teenage boys commented that it “should be illegal to carry around such a cute ball of adorable!” Daddy Matt is considering purchasing a baseball bat sooner than later. And so it begins…

4. We took a trip to Toronto Island by ferry one lovely Saturday. I packed Lexi’s backpack with her change-pad, diapering supplies, some snacks for me and brought a yoga mat to sit on. I sat cross-legged on the edge of the water feeding Lexi. I made sure we were facing the city drinking in the view in the
soft sunshine. A very large white swan swam past, its beady eye scanning us suspiciously. It decided we weren’t sharing our food and paddled on. We took a walk for a couple kilometers. We saw finches, black cormorants, robins, cardinals, blue jays, crows and starlings. We saw fully open daffodils and tulips. Lexi napped in my arms and then it was time to walk back to the dock to go back to the city. We’ll have to make that a regular trip! Perhaps next time we’ll take the stroller and my roller skates and slowly skate along the paved pathways to the other tiny islands.

It’s supper time here for Lexi and she’s starting to consume her “do-do” aka ‘soother’. I’m going to head off Princess time at the Pass! Wish me luck!

I hope this letter finds you with time to take in the flowers and listen to the songs of the birds.
Much love and hugs,

Kristi and Lexi
xxx
ooo

Lexi Letter Volume 1 Issue 3

Lexi Letter Volume 1 Issue 3

April 6th/2009-April 16/2009 (Note it takes WAY longer to write this now!!)

In the last letter, we were gleaming in what appeared to be the soft sunlight of Spring. Today I am sitting at the computer shivering in dull grey with Lexi beside me who is looking gloriously adorable in a warm pink velour bunny suit. We are watching HAIL bounce off the back patio stones and ricochet into the fledgling grass blades of the hopeful lawn. I know Spring wants to show it’s pretty face but it’s playing coy to the point of almost cruelty. Come on now Spring, that’s enough. We appreciate you! Didn’t we say it enough to you last year? How does one encourage an entire season to cooperate anyway?

I have some weirdness to share that I have experienced through the entire process of pregnancy and now postpartum. There is plenty of time to ponder these things as I sit and breastfeed.

Pre-Natal Oddities:

1. Increased swelling of the nasal cavity for what appears to be no reason other than to freak out your co-workers with random “red” sneezes. Bloody sneezes! It has since cleared up thankfully.

2. The Lina Nigra – a line of discoloration down the centre of the belly from the solar plexus to parts preferably unmentioned. Why is it there? Mine is currently showing me how my ex-piercing of my navel has shifted to the right. Darn you Lina Nigra and your mocking ways! You are messing with my carefully symmetrical body modifications! Every time I look at it, I see dollar signs flushing down my belly button…. Nature’s reminder one should not get hung up on your appearance.

3. Hair growth confusion. Hair abruptly stops growing every where but on your head which instead produces the most beautiful shiny locks that Rapunzel would envy. Kind of a nice thing actually. Weird but nice!

4. Cravings. You can’t deny you had a craving when you use a hammer & nail to get into a can of fruit cocktail to make Ambrosia salad on your lunchbreak at work. Nor can you deny it if you cannot help but ingest a frozen chocolate blended drink in sub-zero temperatures despite having full-body goosebumps and blue lips. Cravings. They are more real than I care to admit.

Post Partum Curiousities:

1. Lightning bolts striking your general chest area – from the inside! Apparently I was not being electrocuted the first time this happened. I was experiencing sympathetic milk production for Lexi’s crying! I have to be aware not to subconsciously grab my chest in pain when this happens. I’ve had a few startled looks from people when I suddenly clutch myself out of the blue. Oops!

2. The inate tendancy to alternately bounce up/down and rock back/forth any time you hold a baby. I like watching other people’s versions. Most notable was my cousin Laura’s high speed aerobic bounce, not only soothing for baby – great exercise! Fascinating.

3. The ability to function for months on end with little to no sleep BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO. Amazing how Nature instills this incredible endurance within each parent even though they may never have previously accessed this superpower prior to parenthood. And do not mistake, it IS a super power!

4. The realization that my Bestemor managed to do this with 9 children and a farm without all the handy gizmos like an aluminum frame stroller with large wheels, tight turn radius & 5 point harness. My maternal great grandmother managed 14 children. I have one and I feel overwhelmed at times. What kind of statement does that make on our generation that we cannot survive without diaper service, cell phones and cars? Matt and I are trying to make a go of it without those 3 things and people are a cross between horrified and awestruck. I still feel that we are taking the easy route in comparison. We have a washer/dryer for goodness sake! I try to remember that at 4 each morning.

Lexi’s stats this letter:

10 lbs 11 oz as of April 14th. She will be 8 weeks as of Friday April 17th 2009. Amazing how time flies and days blend into each other!

March/April Adventures:

Easter was Lexi’s first visit out of Toronto. Grandma Ann and Grandpa Jack picked us up in the mini van Friday afternoon. We had a lovely visit at the baby shower on Saturday with my sister-in-law Veronica, her 6 year old son Shaun, my Aunt Moira, her daughter-in-law Laura, Laura’s 2 daughters Delaney and Sidney and of course my Mum, Ann. We ate Angelo’s cake (it’s decadent), played some nursery rhyme games. We also played a game by Veronica. We had to guess what type of chocolate bar was melted in 3 disposable diapers. We could do anything we wanted to figure out what it was. Delaney chose to eat some of it! I couldn’t bring myself to eat any of them but I did guess the one with the chunks to be an Eatmore Chocolate bar. Yuck. I thought the one that was stuck to itself was perhaps marshmallow but it turned out to be a Mars bar. Yuck. The last one was filled with colourful candy shells mixed into the chocolate. I got the colour combination wrong. Smarties not M & M’s! Yuck. The winner was Sidney with 2 correct. Good job! I think I am off chocolate for a bit. Not forever but until that image fades!

We had a good visit and then every one went off to different easter events. Aunt Moira stayed to visit with us until dinner. During the visit, Lexi was sleeping far more than usual and wouldn’t feed at all. By 3 pm I was concerned that she would not stay awake no matter what I attempted. I tried to feed her again by 4:30 with no avail. Then tummy cramps happened and the inconsolable crying started. We called TeleHealth for advice while I tried burping her, bouncing her up and down, bicycle legs, putting her across my lap on her tummy.. checking her diaper, checking her clothing to be sure nothing was poking her. Nothing worked. The nurse suggested Pedialyte to keep her hydrated. After a while she calmed down and managed to feed a bit. She seemed to be perking up. Crisis averted?

That night, we had a great dinner with Aunt Moira, Uncle Vince, my brother Brian, Veronica, Shaun and Jack. Homemade lasagna, caesar salad, homemade garlic bread and 2 types of pie: cherry & blueberry. Lexi waited until after dinner to burst into painful cries induced by tummy cramps. Veronica, the last one to be a mom to a newborn, sprung into action and gently pumped Lexi’s legs up to her chest over and over, speaking to her in a soothing tone. Eventually it got a lot of gas to move and Lexi let some “rippers” go much to her (and our!) relief. No one wanted to leave until Lexi stopped crying but her and I were in for a rough night with the apex of her tummy bug sickness. Sunday was not much better with the painful cramps so we called TeleHealth for some advice from the nurse. Continue with Pedialyte to keep her hydrated then go see a doctor within 24 hours. Up again most of the night with painful cramps and blow out diapers. I paged my family doctor, Dr. Davis for advice. She recommended taking her to the Children’s hospital Emerg as this had gone on far too long. The on-call Pediatrican ruled out dehydration and possible urinary tract infection and recommended seeing Dr. Davis the next day. Mum and I were given the go ahead to drive back to Toronto.

Dramatic end to our first trip out of town!

HEALTH:

Lexi has been suffering from abdominal cramps and severe diarrhea for the last 14 days which is why this letter has been taking so long to complete. It is definitely clearing up now though she is still suffering from the occasional bout of painful “rippers” that would make an old deaf man sit up, take notice and be proud. I have been collecting “samples” for the lab the last 2 days with one more day to go. Dr. Davis feels that this has gone on far too long despite her managing to gain weight. The samples are to rule out any parasites or any other detectable bugs. If this continues then they will check her digestive tract out at a Pediatrician for further possibilities.

WELL BEING:

1. Lexi has genuine smiles now with the cutest giggle. They are more prone to happen in the morning after her breakfast, around 7 in the evening and again around 4:30-5 in the morning. It’s contingent after a wet diaper is changed and she’s back in her warm clothes again. I don’t blame her – that would be something to make me smile too! I certainly wouldn’t be smiling if I woke up to being soaked in pee!

2. Lexi really enjoys me reading “Good Night Moon” to her. She loves the contrast of colour then black and white between the pages. She also loves staring at pictures of baby faces so I got her a book of them out of the Library. She also likes her Lion, Pressly, that Grandma Wilson gave her. Pressly gently sings the tune Twinkle Twinkle Little Star while his cheeks flash red. She was completely enthralled with some puppets at Monday’s meeting. I must make her one of her own!

3. We are getting out and about at least once a day for some sunshine and fresh air. I don’t know how Lexi finds bumping about down the sidewalk soothing but she manages to fall asleep each time! The Snugli carrier is a favourite sleeping place as well. We have this lovely soft white rosette fun fur “swaddler kicker” that she is wrapped in then place inside the carrier. Basically the kicker is a swaddling blanket with legs sewn into it. Perfect for cool days in the Snugli and especially nice for napping! There’s been many an envious adult that has commented when we’ve been travelling on the subway system.

4. She is holding her own head up better and I look forward to her exploring the play mat that Grandma Ann got her for the baby shower in London at Easter. It has an apparatus that you rest the baby on and they can push themselves around in a circle to see all the things on the mat. There are crinkly leaves, a squeaky baby bird, a mirror and other stimulating things to explore.

My Health:

1. For any one interested, I had my tailbone X-rayed. The results came back that it is at a severe angle and would need surgery in order to re-set the bones. I am currently instructed to just eat as much fibre as possible for comfort’s sake. This could be a permanent state as the swelling has gone down and I am still… well, you know. Let’s just say “uncomfortable.” I follow those instructions very closely.

2. I have lost all the pregnancy weight as well as an extra ten pounds. This is due to the horse diaretic called Lazacs (sp?) that they gave me in the hospital. I had been trying to lose that 10 pounds for the last 5 years – all it took was 34 hours of labour, kidney failure and severe pre-eclampsia but I did it! I don’t recommend this particular way of dieting. I am able to exercise now. Lexi and I continue to attempt each Tuesday morning with failure to make it to a free Mom and Baby Yoga Class down town. We will make it one of these days! I think next Tuesday I will just stay up the last time she is up and get us ready for the class. That might work.

3. I am still attending/hosting my puppet meetings and my small business “Power Pod” meetings. All the people involved are so understanding and so welcoming to Lexi that I have not felt that I am imposing in any way. I do get a bit frustrated at times when I spend more time feeding than participating but it will get easier with time. At least I can listen in! That is so valuable to me!

I am going to close this letter with a big shout out to Spring for finally cooperating. My allium leaves are up, the daffodils stalks are pointing daintily to the sky and the grass blades are finally getting a chance. Way to go Spring! It is currently 10 degrees Celsius and nary a cloud in sight. Time to go for a stroll! (We need to drop off a sample anyway…)

Big hugs to you all, Kristi, Lexi and the chocolate Easter Whale that Daddy gave Lexi.

Lexi Letter Volume 1 Issue 2

Lexi Letter Volume 1 Issue 2 March 20/2009

From the sunshine and the birds tweeting it seems like a good day to celebrate 4 weeks of Lexi and the first day of Spring! Like the snowdrops in my garden, Lexi is growing and blooming. She is 8 lbs 14 oz as of yesterday and looking around at her world with wide spectacularly blue eyes. She makes a tiny moue with her mouth as she gazes about. “Ohh.. look at that!” You can see the sense of awe and wonder she is experiencing reflected in the silver blue of those eyes. She follows my movements and my voice throughout the day with such interest. Right back atcha, Kid!

We’ve had a few adventures over the past few weeks worth noting beyond naps, sleepless nights and exploding nappies…

• Lexi met her cousin Shaun, Uncle Brian and Auntie Veronica for the first time last Saturday. Shaun is completely fascinated by how tiny she is. He can’t help but laugh out loud with delight which in turn fascinates Lexi. I see a great friendship forming! We had a lovely visit – we were in such good spirits we attempted a trip to IKEA. On Saturday. In Toronto. I believe we were suffering from dementia to think that that wouldn’t be insane! At one point we lost each other in the chaos of eco, ergo, and enviro design. A lesson to learn for Lexi’s future reference in large crowds: Never separate from the herd! We emerged eventually as a tired, thirsty pack our treasures in hand. Thanks to Grandma Ann, Lexi’s room is now outfitted with her funky red crib furnishings, a small red child safe lamp and some oversized red poppy wall graphics. Once the room mate has moved out , her room is ready to go!
• We travelled by stroller (it used to be my nephew Shaun’s stroller) to one of the few “accessible” subway stations that is near a library location. Using such a huge heavy stroller requires a different way of thinking – finding new routes that will accomodate us. Discovering obstacles that could be in the way or are potentially dangerous. One such danger is getting off a bus with a gap between the curb and the exit. As I was exiting, an elderly lady moved in front of the stroller trying to brush past and enter the bus despite there being no room on either side. Instead of picking up speed to glide over the gap with the front wheels, I had to slow down suddenly. This caused the weight of the stroller to take command. It rolled backwards and down into the gap, pitching the back forwards and up at a dangerous angle. Trapped behind the stroller, I watched in slow motion helpless as Lexi’s feet tipped upwards, over her head toward the concrete. In what seemed like an eon, a bystander grabbed at Lexi pushing her back in and lifting up the front end out of the gap. As I wheeled away to safety, the elderly woman began sniping about how irresponsible I was. Too upset, I continued away from the crowd of people and the edge of the curb to check on Lexi. I could hear in the distance someone responding to the old woman with: “If someone could wait their turn, that wouldn’t have happened.” I sat on a bench to give Lexi a good onceover and a cuddle. It took me a few hours to stop my heart from racing. I am not sure how to handle a situation like that again other than being more vocal with requiring help in order to exit. If I go in front, the back end could fall off into the gap. I have been using the Snugli since when I travel on the transit system but that can’t last forever. Eventually I will need the stroller and all the gear it can hold. If only it was lighter and slimmer but I will adjust as I gain back muscle I am sure.
• Lexi and I attended on Sunday my small business group meeting, The Power Pod. This is a group of like minded friends that all have small businesses that require growth and emotional support. The businesses range from life coach, puppet making, massage therapy, body sugaring, consulting, jewelry making, singing, voice work, hula hoop instruction/dancing. We manage to compliment each other with what we can bring to the Pod. For example, there are 2 jewelry makers that inspire each other but are at different stages of the game. 2 puppet makers that can bounce ideas off each other. 2 massage therapists. Each has a different method of approaching things that can help the other. The life coach can practice coaching and leadership on all of us while gaining valuable feedback. With the blend of artistry and business, we are all growing. Including Lexi and I with Knoggin! I will also be adding voice work potentially so one of the Power Pod actually knew someone that is already a stay- at-home Mom that is using voice work as supplemental income. I will be calling her today.
• The visit with my friend Carly and her baby Lyla went well. Turns out it was Lexi’s first “sleepover” as Lyla managed to sleep through it all. Carly brought Lexi a sassy pinafore/bloomer set for summer with happy flowers all over it. Very cute! Lexi decided to visit a bit, eyes open and curious about Carly. Lyla was born January 7th and weighed as much as Lexi does now at 4 weeks. She’s twice the size of Lexi currently so Lexi seems even more like a pixie. Amazing the difference 2 months makes! Perhaps next time both babies will notice each other! Now that Spring weather is tentatively moving in, we can go outside and explore what our big city has to offer for Mums and Babies.
• We went to a Breastfeeding Clinic to solve the problem of tummy ache after feeding. Apparently I have excessive “let down” – and no, this doesn’t mean I am disappointed in everything! It means that I flow and flow and flow… and over flow. Which means poor Lil Lexi is trying to keep up and ends up swallowing a lot of air as she is gulping. Oops! Overachieving isn’t always a good thing!? Most of the Moms at the clinic were not able to produce and here I am producing enough for all the babies in the hospital! MooOOoooo… So the solution was to lean back to fight gravity and hopefully slow down the flow so that she doesn’t have to gulp. The back up solutions were to move her legs in a “bicycle pedaling” motion or put her in the “colic hold”. It might sound like a wrestling move but this is where she lies on her tummy across your forearm with her head turned sideways in your hand and you pat her on the back while feeding her. Very complicated and awkward. Last night was the first night of this new “anti- gravity” technique. Not entirely successful as Matt was up with her twice after diaper changes trying to settle down Lexi and her tummy. Rats. I will keep trying and if it doesn’t resolve by Monday back to the clinic we go!
• I  got one “tube” knitted for puppets. I potentially want to make one each for the Obama girls as a promotional gift – a beaver and a moose perhaps? A couple for some friend requests and then a few more for Open Door Designs. I already have about 8 flowers cut out and ready to sew.
• Speaking of being crafty, I decided to make Lexi’s diaper liners myself. They are just 2 pieces of flannel sewn together which should be simple, right? (Famous last words… you can do it, sewing machine!) I also bought some funky circle flannel to make a larger “sleep sack” for Lexi. She’s almost outgrown the one that she currently has. She’s stretched out on my lap right now so I just tried to measure her by ruler: 22″! That’s taking into account the slight bowleg effect of the rather large cloth diaper. I will get the official measurement at her next check-up with Dr. Davis April 3rd.
• Lexi and I will be attending a free Mother and Baby Yoga class next Tuesday. It is offered at Ben Navaee Gallery on Queen Street East along with many other free classes. They do not pay money to their instructors, instead offering them art work if they are not artists or promoting their artworks through shows if they are. If this works out, then I will be trying to go each week. There are many other free classes throughout the city, it’s just a matter of getting to them. Matt thoughtfully gave me Mother and Baby music classes for my birthday for both Lexi and I for this summer. I am so looking forward to it!
• I am planning a trip to London to visit with family Easter weekend. I know that they are itching to visit with Lexi and perhaps put on a “shower” for her. I have been putting it off as I refused to leave the city during the winter while I was pregnant. Now that the ice and snow have left, I feel safer travelling on the roads. I am excited about the trip. I haven’t been to London since last August! After all that has transpired, it seems like a lifetime ago…
• If you are wondering what has happened to Matt during all of this, he is a trooper! Matt is working very hard at getting his album finished, the studio ready as well as working 40 hours at Loblaws. He never seems to be still. His days begin when the sun comes up and end sometime in the wee hours. I tried to let him sleep but he wants to be part of Lexi’s life and that means getting up during the night to change nappies after I have fed her. He is so sweet, earnest and in love with Lexi. What an amazing Dad and partner!

I leave you now with a picture of me at age Day 1. Compare the face to Lexi. It could be her, the resemblance is uncanny! The other picture is Lexi at 4 weeks. She can see you and is curious about who you are…

Much love, hugs and milky smiles,

Kristi and Lexi

Lexi Letter Volume 1, Issue 1

Lexi Letter
Volume 1, Issue 1
March 8/2009

Welcome to the first edition of the Lexi Letter! It’s been officially 16 days since Alexandra Hanne made her way into the world with a sense of adventure, style and drama. She shines a bright little light of joy into our lives – I look at her and drink in the sheer wonder of her world. Everything is new. Innocence is found everywhere.

Life will never be the same again nor can I imagine it any other way. Someone
recently asked me if I can remember what it was like before. Honestly? In one
way, yes. I can remember taking risks, travelling vast distances by foot/bus,
living out of a backpack and going on wild adventures to foreign
lands. But do I miss that? No. This is a whole new wild ride that Matt, Lexi and I are on and I wouldn’t miss it for the world. There will be time for crazy travel trips with the 3 of us down the road so to speak.  For now this is all I want or need.

A great big thanks to my Mum, Grandma Ann, for staying during my hospital
experience and holding down the fort. It’s not often that I do but if there was
any time that I needed my own Mum, it was then. I am grateful that she was
already coming up for a visit the day that I went into the hospital!

On Feb 27/09 the day after my Mum left for home, Lexi met our family doctor Dr. Jayne Davis for her very first check-up, here’s the stats:

Weight: 6 lbs 13 oz
Head circumference: 35 cm
Length: 52 cm
Back up to birth weight in a week! Well done, Lexi! (And way to go me!)

A second visit from Lexi’s other Grandma came soon after.  Not only
was it a chance for Grandma to bond with her new granddaughter prior to a long trip to Myrtle Beach and Florida, it was very handy too. A big round of applause to Grandma Wilson, who helped make a trip to the Kidney specialist possible on March 3/09. My bp is still relatively high, but it is slowly going down. My medication was reduced from 100 mg twice daily to 50 mg twice daily. Dr. MacFarlane does not believe that I will have permanent damage but the next pregnancy I will be watched closely from the beginning. (Oh yeah, I said it. “Next pregnancy!” Even after all that foofarah, I believe it was more than worth it!)

March 4/09, Lexi made her 2nd visit to Dr. Davis. She was beyond her
birth weight a week ahead of schedule. Over achiever already!

Weight: 7 lbs 7 oz
Head circumference: 35 cm
Length: 52 cm

Dr. Davis also did a quick check on me and sent me to X-Ray to find out where
my tailbone might have disappeared. Again Grandma Wilson stepped up to the plate and watched Lexi while I was in with the experts. The results will be in next week and if there is anything really obstructive, Dr. Davis will make provisions for corrective surgery. I can tell you that as of right now, fibre is my friend which is a sign that something is definitely up with that tailbone. If only I had named it. I could just give it a call and it would come wagging home.

Other exciting things happening in Lexi’s world:

1. Sleeping mostly through the night. Up perhaps once or twice a night with
minimal fuss. Mummy is actually getting 3 hour stretches of sleep at a time.
I do try to catch a nap in the day if I can now that visitors are gone.

2. Umbilical cord fell off March 4th, with much drama. It took both Mummy and Daddy to console Lexi. Must be frightening to have something fall off that you’ve always known to be attached to you! As a new parent, I hope I never hear my child cry like that again!

3. Looking around a lot more. Very enamoured of the colours on all the cards
displayed on our fun fur canvas in the living room. Even at 2 weeks old, Lexi
can appreciate all the love being sent her way!

4. Has had outings every few days in her Snugli and is getting used to the
subway. Conks right out a few minutes after being put in the Snugli and her
super soft “swaddle-kicker”. I don’t blame her. I’d love to travel that way!
5. Lexi, Mummy and Daddy are adjusting to life with cloth diapers. They need
to be changed more often due to her sensing she is wet immediately but
in the long run a much better choice both for her skin and the environment.
A wonderful neighbour, Monica, passed on her daughter’s cloth diapers to Lexi so now we have enough to make a full load of laundry. Less waste of water, better for the environment. I will have to order more flannel diaper liners from a fellow Toronto Etsy shop owner, Mommy’s Lil Monkey. Lexi has very cool liners with Jolly Rogers and cheeky monkeys – they work great for absorption and keeping stains from the white of the diaper. Uncle Ben thought that they were a hoot! If you are going to change a soiled diaper why not have something funny to laugh at while you are at it?

Next week, there will be a few upcoming adventures now that Daddy is back to work and the two of us are on our own.

1. Monday night: Puppets! Unraku, my puppet troupe will be over to film a new project: Harry Potter Pals – how to make finger puppets video. Of course we will be distracted by Lexi at least for the first half of the meeting, I am sure.

2. Tuesday: Lexi and I will be going to the Nephrologist Dr. MacFarlane this time on our own. She will have to sit on my lap while the blood pressure monitor squeezes the bejeezus out of my arm on and off for 6 minutes.

3. Wednesday: A Public Health Nurse will be coming to help me fully bath Lexi for the first time, go over any concerns and give me contacts with various organizations and other new moms. I wonder sometimes at night about the snuffly sounds she makes and worry that she’s not breathing properly. I must admit I have a deep and abiding fear of SIDS. I am trying not to let it affect me yet still be proactive about it. She doesn’t have any bumper pads in the crib and no extra blankets or toys. She sleeps on her back with airflow vent wedges on either side of her to prevent turning and is zipped into a sleep sack as opposed to a blanket that could accidentally cover her mouth/nose. I’ve done the research and followed all the recommendations and that’s all I can do.

4. Thursday: Visit from my friend (and wedding photographer) Carly and her new baby, Lyla who was born January 7th. Both Carly and I are hoping to spend some quality time with each other so we can get out of the house every now and again. Now that nicer weather is coming, it will be more incentive!

5. Friday: I think we will stay in and get to work on some more puppets for
Open Door Designs and my etsy shop. We need to get the shop generating
some income and now that I am almost recovered this is a good time to do it!
Also make lots of felted flowers for upcoming Mother’s Day and perhaps get
them into some local stores.

It seems like we are in a curious limbo time period right now, adjusting to this
new way of life/pace. I am getting the hang of it, one “baby step” at a time.

May this newsletter find you looking at the world with refreshed eyes, seeing
the innocence and simple beauty around you.

Much love, hugs and milky smiles,
Kristi and Lexi

Bean Newsletter Volume 10

Bean Newsletter Volume 10 –
OR as I like to think of it:
“Almost born, unborn, reborn”
OR
“Not all Buffets are created equal, never try the sampler menu from the Labour & Delivery ward”

It’s finally here! The Grande Finale of Bean Newsletters!

On Thursday February 19th, 10:30 am, I headed to my weekly doctor appointment with Dr. Steele. After the appointment I was going to meet up with my friend Robin to borrow the book “Coraline”, then head to the train station to pick up my Mum for a visit. Matt was taking advantage of an empty house at home to continue recording for his album in the basement.

Weekly Stats:
This Week of Pregnancy: 38
Weight: 157 lbs
Blood Pressure: 170/100
Fetal Heartbeat: -
Height of Fundus: -
Swelling from toes up to knees now hard.

Comparison to last week:
Weeks of Pregnancy: 37
Weight: 155 lbs
Blood Pressure: 148/90
Fetal Heartbeat: 148
Height of Fundus: 38 cm

As you can see my blood pressure had been going up, with this measurement combined with a 3+ protein content in my weekly urine sample, Dr. Steele made the decision to send me upstairs to the Labour & Delivery ward of St. Michael’s Hospital. By the time I reached upstairs, apparently my body decided to naturally begin contractions (unbeknownst to me) and by the time I was admitted I was already dilated by 1 cm. It seemed far too civilized that I was walking myself to the maternity ward. I was told sternly by Dr. Steele not to skip over to the VIA rail station to pick up my Mum. “Go directly upstairs!”

It took about 20 minutes of semi-calm calling to catch my Mum prior to her leaving home. I used every bit of change I had and my calling card but as luck would have it, I caught my Mum just as she was ready to head out. Then the dilemna: how to get hold of Matt at home when he was in the basement recording. I tried a few times then called my friend Robin to tell her what was going on. Strangely, Matt surfaced from the basement on the 3rd try so Robin’s offer to travel in person to physically get Matt’s attention was not necessary.

I was admitted, then walked over to my private birthing room to wait for Matt. This was still very civilized to the point of surreal. I took the opportunity to call Matt again at home to coordinate with him how to get my Mum from the train station to our house. He got it sorted, gathered up our various hospital stay bags and headed out by subway to the hospital. In the meantime, nurses started to hook IV drip bags to my left hand. Magnesium Sulphate and Oxytocin are the most notable ones. Told that they were monitoring me for Pre-Eclampsia as the 3 major symptoms: swelling, high bp and protein in the urine were all present. Every 6 hours, blood was taken from my right arm and tested by the lab. I was cut off of water and food during the duration. The last meal I had eaten was at 7:30 am on Thursday morning. Why didn’t I eat something more substantial or exciting than Weetabix?!

From here, things began to become confusing, picking up speed and chaos like an avalanche only with more needles. I will do this part in short form otherwise this newsletter will make a Tolstoy book seem like a quick read.

 Given 1st epidural once the contractions began to be more than I wanted to deal with. I could handle them at this point but the nurses convinced me that I didn’t need to feel any pain at all. Dr. Lin and his resident assistant had a difficult time placing the needle between the markings of one of my tattoos on my spine. They left feeling that the job was satisfactory. The pain receded.
 Epidural did not last longer than 2 hours, so Dr. Lin was called back again. Not only did he seem surprised that it wasn’t working, he seemed sheepish and apologetic. Not exactly confidence boosting behaviour. A 2nd Epidural was administered. By this point my pain had increased, I was still dealing with it, though I was not too pleased with the 2nd giant needle in my back.
 Again 2 hours passed, epidural had quit. No sign of Dr. Lin. By this point I had been in active back labour from 5 am until 9 am with no pain meds and my tailbone had inconveniently (but not unexpectedly) broken. I was beginning to find where my pain threshold topped out.
 A 3rd epidural was suggested and I refused flat out. I told them to find something else as I was now in severe pain and would rather be that way than endure another useless giant needle to the spine. Apparently the staff were not used to patients putting down their foot like that because they didn’t know what to do. Luckily for me, the best Anethesiologist came on shift, Dr. Chan.
 Dr. Chan administered a spinal tap with local anesthetic.  I could still feel the contractions (breathtaking) but they were muted. 5 cm dilated by this point. Oxytocin dose was increased.
 9-cm dilation and the decision was made to top-up the spinal tap and attempt to push. If that failed then go to the O.R. to assess whether forceps could be used or a C-Section was required.
 3-5 pm active pushing, 5-6 pm rest, 6-7pm active pushing. Intense contractions & pain from the broken tailbone was relieved from pushing, not from the spinal tap. Again without pain relief. After all of that, baby had only moved a minute amount. This is where the baby was almost born.
 Moved to O.R. – Matt was dressed in scrubs but had to remain outside while an assessment of the situation was done. Forceps far too difficult as the baby was still too far in. I confided in Dr. Greg Silverman, the Anesthesiologist that I was finally scared and I didn’t want to be put asleep, as I didn’t feel that I would wake up again. I was beyond my threshold now. He reassured me that he would do his best not to put me under and generously applied a large amount of anethesia to the 2nd epidural tap that Dr. Chan left in my back.
 Matt was allowed in for this part and we waited 20 minutes while the freezing took. The O.R. staff set up a curtain over my chest effectively blocking out our view. Dr. Silverman did many double checks with pinches to be sure the epidural was working and only until I was frozen up to my solar plexus did he give the go ahead to Dr. Yolanda Kirkham to begin the C-Section.
 I could feel the surgery as pressure without pain and I calmed down. At one point there was excessive pushing and my body slid upwards physically a few inches toward the edge of the table. Dr. Silverman caught my shoulders and moved me back down.  This is where the baby was unborn. Then I could feel more pressure of the C-Section continuing.
 Matt talked to me quietly while we waited. A tiny cry was heard from beyond the curtain. We looked at each other, eyes wide, listening. Again a tiny cry then a flurry of activity. Matt was called over “Daddy come here” to meet our daughter! This is where baby Alexandra (Lexi) Hanne Wilson was reborn!
 While Lexi was being cleaned, she clung with her tiny hand to Matt’s finger. The nurses valiantly tried to make her cry, even sticking a tube down her throat to suction her stomach. I think she was so happy to be here that she didn’t feel like crying. The nurses finally got a tiny cry from her after 5 minutes, making her Apgar score a 9.
 I couldn’t see from behind my curtain as the surgeons continued to finish the C-Section. As soon as they were able, the nurses brought Lexi around the corner for me to see.

Alexandra (Lexi) Hanne Wilson born 18:43 February 20th 2009.
6 lbs 13 oz, 52 cm/ 20.47 long
Lexi was finally here! But I still had a long way to go.

 7-9:30 pm in recovery room to check my vitals and baby’s stats.
 10 pm back in birthing room for observation of possible seizures due to blood pressure medication still being fed through an IV drip.
 Pre-eclampsia was increasing in severity, kidneys were leaking creatinine – an elevation in the creatinine level in the blood indicates a disturbance in kidney function. Urine would not evacuate from the bladder, and when it did it was deeply discoloured. At one point there was renal failure but they managed to stabilize it.
 For two days, I was constantly being whisked away from Lexi for more specialist tests: echocardiogram, sonogram of legs, ultrasound of kidneys and lungs, chest x-ray…, the list goes on. Every 6 hours blood continued to be taken. The veins in my right arm collapsed and I suggested we switch my IV’s to the right arm so they could take blood from my left. Proactively I also suggested a better placement on my arm for the IV’s so I could pick Lexi up without snarling her in tubes and jogging my needles.
 Lexi’s body weight by the 2nd day had dropped to the maximum 10% loss and the nurses finally began assisting me to lift her out of her bassinette to feed her, comfort her and change her. It’s very difficult sitting up hooked to five IV’s, a catheter along with staples from a C-Section (don’t forget the broken tailbone) PLUS try to quieten a panicking starving baby in the middle of the night so that we don’t disturb the septagenariuan in the attached ward that is recovering from major surgery. No pressure. (I apologize for the run-on sentence but seriously!)
 Over the next few days, with much perserverance, coaching from the Lactation Consultant and Matt’s assistance with a tube, some formula in a bottle and his little finger we managed to get Lexi’s weight back to 6 lbs 11 oz. A fantastic weight and taking her out of the danger zone for Jaundice.
 After what seemed a lifetime, it was the 25th and at noon Lexi and I were finally discharged from St. Mike’s! My wonderful friend Robin came to be our Baby Bus home where Grandma Ann was waiting.

It’s been a full 10 days now of adventure, excitement and a rollercoaster ride ranging from fearpure joy with little Lexi. She’s worth far more than the trials that I experienced and I feel so blessed. As I said on the operating table to Matt as they were putting in the staples: “Next time, c-section!”  No need to try the sample menu again at Labour and Delivery. Been there done that, became the text book case every intern, resident and specialist came to see.

Things at home are less sterile and serious. We are getting a feel for timing feedings now and juggling sleep. Thanks to Matt’s engineering, we have mastered folding a 2-foot square of cotton flannel into an effective diaper for Lexi’s tiny patoot. She does look a touch humourous with her enormous padded bum in the Kushies plastic pants but she likes how soft the flannel is compared to the disposable diapers. Way to save the environment, Lexi! A tree hugging freedom fighter already! I am on the mend with my incision, though the jury is still out on where my tailbone went. On Wednesday I am going to see Dr. MacFarland in Nephrology to follow-up on my kidneys. Both Lexi and I go for our next check-up Thursday with our family doctor, Dr. Jayne Davis. I will be getting a full physical with a follow-up on the blood pressure medication and perhaps to get the mystery of the tailbone solved by x-ray.

I want to thank all of you that have already heard the news and have sent well-wishes, cards and lovely gifts for dear Lexi. She’s a very stylish, funky girl already thanks to all of you! (The only contribution I have made is one tiny mushroom hoodie that I couldn’t resist.) The handmade things are absolutely gorgeous and I can hardly wait till Lexi is big enough to show them off.
To all of you that have been reading these newsletters and are excited to hear the Bean has finally arrived but are sad that the series of letters have ended, never fear! A new series called the LEXI LETTER will be starting shortly.

Interesting things to note about Lexi:
 Born one week after her maternal father’s birthday and one week before her maternal mother’s birthday. Very diplomatic of her!
 Her name coincidentally fits alphabetically between her parents names: Kristi, Lexi and Matthew
 She has one distinguishing mark: a slightly crinkled edge on the top curl of her ear, just like her mother. No crooked pinkies or toes, very long limbs, slender build.
 Full head of black hair at birth, non-descript “newborn blue” eyes, white eyelashes & brows
 Currently (day 10) has brown hair, eyelashes have darkened to light brown, and brows still white.
 Named after her mother’s maternal great grandfather. Alexandra means “helper and defender of mankind.” Hanne was taken from the mother’s paternal family tree on the Norwegian side. Hanne is a variation of “Ann” which is also a family name on the mother’s maternal side. Hanne also means “gracious”.

Much love, hugs and jubiliation,

Kristi Ann, Lexi Hanne & Matthew Lee

My must-haves for a city winter pregnancy

A friend of mine commented on how cute I looked throughout my pregnancy and how I should share my pregnancy style with others.  So here I am at my keyboard, blogging about all the little gems and joys that have helped me survive this first experience of pregnancy with economi-chic and comfort.

If you are reading this to glean some info for your future pregnancy, the best of luck to you! These are what worked for me and will certainly be useful to you as well. And for the others, surely this must be curiousity…. but I encourage you to continue reading- perhaps these tips might come in handy one day for you or someone close to you!

Clothing Tips and Tricks:

• TOPS: Find tops that will grow with you and also continue to accent definition between your ever growing tummy and your ever growing chest.  I recommend looking for any tops, even if they are not classified as maternity, that have details to give yourself definition between tummy and chest. This means finding extra long tops that will accommodate the future that have some sort of cinching- in detail such as elastic, stitching or even a tie. I have worn a thick belt just under the chest to also give definition. I found if I wore a top without this detail I took on the shape of Barbapappa, which some might find charming but I felt not so fabulous. This also applies to outer wear such as your winter coat!
• Winter jacket: First things first, find a coat that you would like to wear after pregnancy. I found one that was a cheerful multi-plaid tweed with a sash to tie above my bump. This became essential  during rush hour and when everyone is bundled up and cannot necessarily see that you are carrying precious goods on board.  That sash makes it abundantly clear that I am pregnant and people do not need to push or knock me out of the way. Or a nice side effect is that they might even let me have their subway seat (as opposed to their backpack.) I will be able to wear this coat in the upcoming years & will still look cute in it!
• Winter boots: Find a pair about 3 sizes bigger than you would normally wear with velcro enclosures.  Be sure there is some give for the top of the foot and they have very good rubber grips on the sole for safety walking on icy sidewalks. Note that if your feet swell they don’t just do it in one direction – your feet become almost a ball!  When you can no longer bend down to do up your own shoes, the slip on factor becomes essential. At the moment, my winter boots are my only foot wear that DO fit me!
• Men’s socks: I bought 2 pairs of mens slouchy socks from the dollar store and I have been wearing them constantly. They are the only socks that do not leave deep marks in my skin or pinch.
• Voluminous Cardigan: Temperature fluctuates when you are preggers, sometimes the baby is like a little furnace and other times you have issues with turning off the…. “headlights”. A great way to solve both problems is finding a cardigan that is neutral for your wardrobe and you could also use as a nursing cardigan. I found one with lovely fold over flaps in the front.

Fabulous fashion finds on a very tiny budget:

• Value Village – one tiny maternity section managed to provide me:
  • $7.99 = 1 pair of Thyme Maternity jeans – with the attached stretchy tummy gusset. This pair of jeans looks like the real thing but has cool features like a faux fly for quick access and regular jean details such as 5 pockets. Barely worn, has a great fit and has grown with me right from the 4th month until now (8.5) and is still my most comfortable pair of pants (including yoga pants!) Even if you cannot find this second hand – it is definitely worth having in your pregnancy wardrobe as an essential.
  • $7.99 = dark wash Thyme Maternity jeans with elastic in back and fold over tab buttons in front, regular fly.  Looks like a regular jean, will probably wear these after the pregnancy because of the fit and comfort level. Unfortunately for pregnancy purposes, this pair was comfortable until the 7.5 month or to be precise when Bean had a crazy growth spurt and my stomach became more horizontal than vertical.
  • $3.99 x 2 =  Bravado! Nursing Bras – one black, one white. Sporty and comfortable with quick release snaps for breastfeeding. I began wearing them around the 6th month for comfort. Takes some getting used to wearing a bra with a “safety’ strap but I am sure that will become very useful once I am in business so to speak.
  • $5.99 x 3 = Various Nursing tops with the extra flap, both long sleeve and short.
  • $4.99 = Black long sleeve cotton/poly sweater with delicate tie detail to cinch in under bust line.
  • $7.99 = light Pink cotton t-shirt nightie with nursing flap for hospital after baby is born. Has very sweet lacy detail on it (Figured  needed something to make me feel pretty after all that grunting!)
• Value Village – regular women’s department coughed up:
  • $3.99 = Black cardigan with fold over flaps in front. Will be great for nursing.
  • $9.99 = Black Cougar winter boots with reflective  strip detail and Velcro enclosures. Has very chunky rubber grips on sole for safety walking on icy sidewalks. Does happen to be a size 9 while I normally wear size 6.5-7 but I can wear thick socks next year in them.
  • $14.99 = cheerful multi-plaid tweed coat with sash. Love the happy colours and the fact my bump is visible on during a busy commute! Will be very cute after baby is born as well.
  • $7.99 = Black wooly mini dress with cute embroidered floral detail at base. Has been a great dress and long maternity top now that I am nearing the end of my pregnancy. Looks super cute with leggings, wool stockings or even jeans.
  • $5.99 = Jacob top, barely worn. Slouchy orangey/red sleeveless t-shirt with cowl top and long body. Bold and happy. Will definitely wear this post-baby!
  • $2.99 = Old Navy, barely worn. Basket weave thick 3/4 sleeve boat neck t-shirt in bright green. Again bold and happy, good comfy shirt for before and after baby.

Items that I use to jazz up my basics – might as well be super feminine cuz when are you ever going to look the epitome of the feminine form regularly?:

• Funky jewellery such as necklaces, earrings , colourful neck scarves
• Sashes and belts – I wear an 2″ wide belt to define between chest & bump. I’ve also made sashes out of satin ribbon and hot glued a focal accoutrement on the centre such as a chunk of rhinestone or beads
• fun head bands and clips for hair
• fun make-up or nail polish.

Essential items/tips for you and baby whilst sharing one body:

• Pregnancy pillow wedge & other pillows.  *joy* I highly recommend a wedge, it  gives your bump something to lean on during sleep and prevents you from rolling forward onto your belly. Also good flipped up behind your back when you are sitting upright to support the small of your back.  I also have a bigger pillow  under the covers at the end of the bed to elevate my feet during the night.
• Jolly Jumper Peanut Cushion. Excellent in the last trimester for in between your knees during sleep which is great for keeping the hips flexed open for baby. I don’t know WHY I didn’t get one before. I guess  I thought the other zillion pillows around the house would do.  They are neither dense enough or the right size. I have actually been able to sleep in the bed thanks to this little *joy*. It will double as a nursing pillow for cradle or “football” holds.
• Hot water bottle and cozy.  Good for sore lower back when growth spurts happen or if you’ve been too active.
• Bucket or foot-sized tub. Good for soaking sore swollen feet with hot or cold water and with Epsom Salts. If you have a small tub you can sit and watch movies while you are soaking.
• Small face cloths. *joy*Wet then squeeze out excess water, roll up and put inside baggie. Put in fridge to use when swollen feet need some cold compresses.
• Non-breakable bottle with lid. (Such as plastic water bottle) Sounds silly but part of pregnancy entails becoming a klutz. I find that I am constantly thirsty for juice or water but knock over regular glasses. This is due to all the muscles in your body becoming more lax in order for the baby to grow in your tummy. The body can’t specify which muscles to loosen,  so all of them do including your hands and feet. This makes for a severe case of butterfingers!
• La-Z-Boy type Rocking Chair. *joy* This not only became essential in the last few days as my baby begins its descent into the “drop zone” but will be invaluable when it comes time for feeding.  Currently, I can put my feet up above my heart to reduce the ever present problem of swollen feet. I can also lean way back to go to sleep at night as the baby stretches and reaches downward, using my stomach as a launch pad. It has helped reduce the feeling of gag reflex and nausea by leaning back to give the baby room to stretch.
• Palmer’s Tummy Butter.  Great for hydrating the bump until the next day. Smells positively delicious! Beware of spouse nibbling…
• Mom-mee massage/stretch mark lotion. Hydrates till the next morning without greasy feeling. Pleasant smell. Spouse might still nibble but it’s not because of the lotion.

I hope these tips have been useful if not informative! Good luck to all future Mummies out there!

Bean Newsletter Volume 9

Bean Newsletter Volume 9

Good morning Bean Fans!

This will only be a quick update instead of a full-fledged novella this time as I will be going for the weekly OB appointment on Thursday with Dr. Steele. We will have much more information for you at that particular time.

I simply wanted to share the results from the final Ultrasound with all of you. Exciting stuff!

I managed to overcome my curiousity continued to keep myself (& everyone else) in the dark about what gender “Bean” might be. So no new info there. Sorry. I know that’s not what you might have wanted to hear. I also didn’t have the baby yesterday on the day I thought something important might happen. Probably also not what you wanted to hear. I suppose the Ultrasound was important but not nearly as exciting as a new birthday!

What IS new is the weight of the Bean.
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7 lbs, 11 oz. Historically speaking that was the same weight as Uncle Brian (my brother) when he was born. Hark, what’s that? I hear wheels turning and tongues wagging!

Now you can speculate all you like about gender, but keep one thing in mind. The length of Bean. Bean measures approximately 13 inches from top of head to the undercarriage of the bottom. (That’s currently firmly wedged on my stomach.) That does not include the legs so we have a tall baby on our hands! Would also explain why I can’t sit or lie down without both of us being uncomfortable.

Length and weight do not necessarily determine gender.

I measured my own tummy the other day just to see how big around I was at the apex of the mountain, so to speak. 41 inches around. Considering how large a baby I am carrying that is quite small so I am thinking we still have a lanky baby, not necessarily pudgy.

Myself on the other hand continue to gain weight, 5 lbs a week, and would like that nonsense to stop. Most of it appears to be water retention in my legs – it has moved from my ankles up my calves into my knees now causing a distinctive slow moving waddle.

In this process I’ve learned a few things about  the validity of “old wives tales”.

1. “Bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen” – definitely valid – when your feet are too swollen for socks and you are blending yourself frozen drinks (or fulfilling some other crazy craving) you will be found in the kitchen. Highly likely!
2. “Waddle” -valid – caused by messed up ankles and feet from carrying so much extra weight and when the baby has dropped it is difficult to walk with a head between your legs…
3. “Shape of stomach determines gender”. If this is correct I am carrying a boy and a girl because people just can’t seem to get together on this one. I feel that this “tale” has been debunked from misuse/misunderstanding. For those that want to further a guess: I am carrying all the weight full forward, nothing can be seen from the back,the stomach is shaped like a beach ball stretching from just under my solar plexus to my groin.

Anyhoo, just thought I’d share the latest update with all of you and also stir up some speculation! Would love to hear your theories on the 3rd “old wives tale.”

Much love, hugs and mischievous mystery,

Kristi and Bean

Books I covet

This is a random list of books that I have been drooling over lately. Off course with constant baby on the brain (and bladder) most of these apply to life with a child… tho’ some of them are perfectly delicious for adults too!

• Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld
• Blender Baby food by Nicole Young
• Son Of A Stitch N Bitch by Debbie Stoller
• Amy Butler’s Little Stitches for Little Ones
• In Stitches by Amy Butler
• Baby Beanies by Amanda Keeys
• Cute & Creepy Crochet
• The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein
• Roald Dahl Treasury
• Beatrix Potter – The Complete Tales
• The Complete Alice – Illustrated by Helen Oxenbury
• The Annotated Hans Christian Anderson by Maria Tatar
• Your Favourite Seuss from Random House
• Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

This list is never ending really and will always  be updated according to whim.

Bean Newsletter Volume 8

Bean Newsletter Volume 8

Welcome to Week 37, Bean Fans! Since things have sped up dramatically, let’s get those stats out there right away:

Weekly Stats:

This Week of Pregnancy: 37

Weight: 155 lbs

Blood Pressure: 148/90

Fetal Heartbeat: 148

Height of Fundus: 38 cm

Comparison to last week:

Weeks of Pregnancy: 36

Weight: 150 lbs

Blood Pressure: 136/84

Fetal Heartbeat: 144

Height of Fundus: 36 cm

Things to note:

• Group B Strep swab came back negative – that’s great news!
• 2 cm growth spurt in Fundus – though again after week 36 this measurement is no longer an accurate measurement of Bean
• 5 lb weight gain – yuck. Probably necessary, but yuck.
• swelling still in feet but has also moved mildly into face and hands
• increase in blood pressure. – was sent for blood sample to check for Pre-eclampsia and Toxemia
• Trace of protein in urine – was sent for urine sample to follow-up on medication and also for the above symptoms

Toxemia is a generic term for the presence of toxins in the blood. It may refer to:

• Bacteremia, bacterial toxins in the blood
• Pre-eclampsia, a serious condition in pregnancy, one symptom of which is abnormal protein metabolism. Symptoms of Toxemia include swelling of the feet and protein in the urine.

Dr. Steele likes to be very thorough when it comes to her patients so Nurse Cathy was to follow-up on the lab results yesterday afternoon and let me know if I needed to come back in immediately for more testing. She has not called today, so the results are more than likely negative.The check for Pre-eclampsia is instigated by the combination of swelling, increase of blood pressure and protein in urine. This is basically hypertension in pregnancy and at this stage would just mean being induced earlier than the due date in order to treat it. It is considered the most common of the dangerous pregnancy complications because it may affect both the mother and the fetus. I am personally not concerned because the swelling & increased blood pressure is from carrying around all this extra body weight on my frame. You’d be puffy too!

Dr. Steele mentioned last week that the baby could be born anytime and it would be in the ‘safe zone’. It is not longer considered too soon. Bean must have heard that because this last week has seen Bean swimming like mad downstream towards freedom (so to speak). There have been a few nights spent in our old La-Z-boy rocking chair trying to stretch out as far as possible to let Bean make a break for it, all the while trying to keep down what I could eat of dinner. The stomach is a great launching pad! Despite fighting gravity, Bean was determined and who am I to discourage the little one? Go, Bean, go!

Bean is bit of an overachiever because at this week’s check-up despite mentioning that the baby could come at any time, both Dr. Steele & Nurse Cathy were surprised to find how low the little one managed to get in a week. (In actuality it was only in 3 days. Bean likes to get things done.) Initially Nurse Cathy spent a few moments looking for Bean’s usually robust heartbeat which has until recently been lined up with my non-existent belly button. Normally she is so quick to find it and just when she was starting to wonder, I mentioned to go about 2-4 inches lower. Voila! Bean’s ticker madly ticking away and Nurse Cathy quickly checked the blood pressure and weight for Dr. Steele’s chart. After seeing the measurements, Dr. Steele gave me a care package of paperwork that I am to keep with me. We are officially walking around at all times with hospital paperwork for quick admittance. I have a pamphlet entitled “Signs of Labour”; a list of things to pack for the hospital for both Bean & myself; and my medical history over the pregnancy.OK. Now to wait until 3 minutes apart….

On a quick weird side note, this week has also produced a new odd sleeping noise from yours truly that surpasses the usual snore. It’s been very dry in our house from the heating vents and apparently poor Daddy Matt has been listening to some rather strange noises emanating from me. My tongue insists on sticking to the upper back of my mouth effectively blocking my air passageway. We discussed getting a humidifier for the room before the baby because even Matt is having issues singing until the afternoon. Very dry!

Yesterday after the Dr. appointment, I went to Fresh Floral Creations to help out with writing up address labels and Valentine cards – but let’s be honest, it was mainly to visit! I miss those crazy kids! It’s hard to go from full tilt to full stop. I had a good day, easily falling back to my routine. I wore my gigantic boots in case of swelling – I really do appreciate those things. Lots of ankle & arch support and room to grow in every direction. It’s the small things to appreciate really when you are this big.

At the end of the day, the rascals took me for dinner to a restaurant across town that has sentimental value to Bruno, plus it has amazing food. Every year around this time, Toronto hosts a food extravaganza across the city called Winterlicious where participating restaurants feature a prix fixe menu of their best items. We had a lovely 3 course dinner then they slyly pulled out some elaborately wrapped gifts for Bean. An unexpected Fresh baby shower! I sincerely am so thankful for all the effort they put in especially in the busiest week of the year for Florists! By the end of dinner they all looked completely knackered but utterly content.

• A little birdie must have heard me mention one particular gift item that I had seen at Babies R Us: a Froggy humidifier! (I hope they didn’t hear me make that awful noise! Yikes!)Matt and I have set it up already and here’s hoping that sounds goes away otherwise he might not keep me!
• They also gave us a CD entitled ‘Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions of Nirvana’. (This works perfectly with Matt’s plan to collect ‘classic’ albums for Bean’s musical education such as The Beatles White Album and Rage Against The Machine…) This is the glockenspiel version, much more mellow yet still Nirvana’s songs. Not only will it sooth a savage baby, it might just put a tired parent to sleep!
• The New Mom’s Survival Kit – 30 survival tips for the new mother. It’s  tiny boxed set of humorous yet informative cards with tips along with an eye mask for sleeping that says: “New Mom – Do Not Disturb”. Very cute!
• A Snugli baby carrier. Once home, I immediately put it on Matt with a stand in for Bean that happened to be a teddy bear that I made my Grandmother. It is adjustable so it will fit both of us! I am in the process of making a fabric baby carrier but this one is nice just in case I run out of time. It has the breathable mesh between parent and baby plus lots of safety features. I know that this will come in handy.
• A Baby Einstein links toy that is for 0+ months. It has 11 different shaped rings that link together that can attach to the stroller , crib or even high chair. It has different colours and numbers on it for future development as well as doubling as a teething ring.

All of these items were greatly appreciated and I know that we will get a lot of use out of them. Thanks Team Fresh! I will be visiting you soon enough with Bean firmly anchored in the Snugli! Muah!

Today was spent at home.

• re-organizing my craft space. It’s been kind of a disaster because I took everything out of a storage unit to use for Bean’s collection of things. I put up some items on Craigslist.ca to give away such as extra fabric and yarn. I like to help out fellow crafters when I can because they do it for me. Crafty karma!
• Shifted the large Bean gear items out of the office and into the dining room i.e. the stroller, high chair and swing.
• re-checked the hospital bags for Bean and myself. I managed to whittle it down to a more manageable amount of things. Just a backpack for me, one smaller one for Bean plus Matt’s small overnight bag. We figure Matt or someone can bring the carrier from our house once it is time to bring Bean home.
• napped to a DVD brought home from the library – The Illusionist with Edward Norton and Jessica Biel. I re-watched it after the nap. It was nice to veg for a bit with the feet up.
• Tonight, I am going to finish up a few more puppets. I hope!

Matt and I are going to actually go on a date for the first time on Valentine’s Day. We are heading to the Crepe Cafe for dinner across from the (in)famous headquarters of Much Music Canada on Queen Street, then around the corner to the movie theatre. Not sure which movie we will see yet. Perhaps The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Wrestler with Mickey Rourke (since it won so many awards) or maybe just the new Tim Burton movie Coraline. I am looking forward to it!

Attached is a picture taken by proud papa Matt the other day: The caption is: “What’s that, I hear singing!!!” Could he have waited till the sleepy marks went away?! *sigh* How can you get mad at a grin like that?

Signing off for now, it’s time to see if we can eat some dinner…. As for Bean’s grand entrance, we’ll keep you in the loop!

Big hugs, Kristi and Bean